I should have known better. Thinking I have no new adventures or as some of you view “mishaps” to write about… Boy was I wrong. I think things happen to me is like asking those stupid questions “Is the Pope Catholic” or “Does a bear shit in the woods” and
“Is Ken an Accident waiting to happen”
DUH… Yes I am
For some reason we are having cold weather here in CT at night… Yes way too effen early. One saving grace I live near the coast so not as cold as inland. Areas around us have already got snow. Like the rest of us I am trying to go as long as I can without using the heat. I have forced hot air and I just wanted to check to make sure that the Furnace does work for when I do really need it. Turned it on and I do hear the click like it is going on…. since it is forced hot air it does take awhile before the radiators get warm…okay 10 minutes..where the hell is the heat. I don’t feel a damn thing…. Still thinking maybe it takes longer ..the first time… Yea I know stupid but thats what I thought….. I go downstairs and the furnace and pipes are as cold as how “Leona Helmsley” treated her help…. okay its Friday night and no biggie…ask my son to see what he could….
“Oh Greg”…
He turns the thermostat on and off and tells me …”Dad It’s not Working”… Seriously wanted more than that…..but what the hell he did make that great effort…. SARCASM
Me being the kind of person I am I do have look into this but it will wait until the morning
It’s Saturday morning and try to sleep in but failure like always… I am up and about sniffing around 7ish. I get up and it is a little nippy in my house… I go downstairs and make some coffee and grab a cup and start pondering my Heat… Okay Ken do that stupid thing and turn the thermostat on and off and hopefully it will work now…. Duh of course not…. so I go to the actual furnace and investigate… I knew that the pilot light must not be on…. Okay how do I take this cover off to see where that thing is at….. finally pulled the cover off and I find where I have to light it…. good thing I brought my glasses. It was hard to read the directions as is….. okay I will fake it. I have matches and I find the reset button to hold down. I do that and light the pilot…. okay held it down for a few minutes then let it go. Of course it goes out I repeat this a few times…now getting frustrated… okay what do I…..I’ll take cares of this…. I hold down the reset and get closer to the pilot and stick my mug in there to make sure I am getting it lit…… well it got lit alright but it also shot a big ass flame back at me…. Now I smell something that from many years of sauting I recognize…… BURNT HAIR…. One good thing do not feel anything…no burns on my face but I feel my brows and touch the left side of my hair… Yep its singed… I go the bathroom mirror…. Thank God not too bad…but it is a nasty smell
Good thing I do not have those big ass “Brezhnev Brows because they would have been gone
Talk about a UNABROW
Well I was not deterred. I went back at it and I keep lighting and relighting the pilot… now I am getting frustrated…
Why Wont this Stay Lit
Miracles do happen and it does stay lit….. I think because it was out for a while there was carbon build up and it had to be heated and burned off.
Now the final final test.. go upstairs and turn on the thermostat and yes it is working…. now to take a shower and get that smell and hopefully clean and wash my hair so maybe be like normal…
The gods were on my side and I do not look any worse….. Okay those who know me … I know what you are thinking keep it to yourself…
I know the song is not about my hair getting singed but is the same as the title.
Thank god I found a Kenny Rogers youtube before his hideous facelift…. who the eff said this would look good…. he looks like he is related to Joan Rivers….. or could have been an extra in John Carpenters cult movie “Escape from LA”
I was looking at a friend’s blog the other day and she was getting all original describing her pet “Black Widow”. I do not know if I am just whacked but there are a lot of things that just trigger events in my life and yes folks this is one.
Back when I was young and stupider because I am still stupid (stop it with the grammar correction) living in Lodi, CA. I have written how I ended up there and ensuing stories that followed. I think I was around 27 working, living with friends and their parents and across the hall from my future ex wife and the mother of my son. Lodi is located in North Central CA in the San Joaquin valley. Now I was an eastern boy and it was whole different lifestyle for me. It is real farm country, actually the largest area in the US. From what I know now a lot of it going by the wayside and becoming residential…what else is new. I hate when I digress but I just can’t help it. It seemed to me at the time they were about 10 years behind in everything compared to us really HEP Easterners. So at first had to get acclimated to this lifestyle but me being the chameleon I am adjusted well. Made many friends and really enjoyed this change in my life. Ken for Christ Sakes get to the damn Spider story. I worked for my now ex father in-law (Curly) who I still admire greatly. Curly owned a Vinegar Plant that only made naturally aged wine vinegar. This is a slow process. The method we aged the vinegar was the
“Orleans Method”
Though scientific advances have made large-scale production of vinegars fast and easy, it is the handcrafted Orleans method that allows for the most full-bodied and nutrient-rich wine vinegars. Unlike most modern vinegar making, which is based on rapid, forced fermentation, and flushing the wine with oxygen, the Orleans technique requires the vinegar to age for ten months in small French Oak barrels. As a consequence of this extensive process, very little commercial production of the vinegar exists in the US. The taste of this vinegar is described as bright, smooth and fruity.
So are you getting a gist of what I did? No, well besides being “Chief Cook and Bottlewasher” One of my duties was to periodically test the acidity of each barrel. A very complicated method of extracting the vinegar (just kidding)…. I had a syphon hose and would go to each barrel and take a sample of each. Then had to use my chemistry and math skills to find the acidity of each and determine how many Gallons of each would be needed from each to get the desired strength we were looking for.
“DO NOT EVER DO THIS AFTER A HARD NIGHT OF DRINKING WITH A HANGOVER“
Because no matter how hard you try… you will swallow some vinegar.
Our plant was situated within a vineyard we did not own..very cool. It was one of those days that I had to test. See the above picture of the barrels our setup was very similar. There was over 300 barrels tiered up. We always rotated the barrels we took some from so there was always something aging and some ready for bottling. I think the batch we were bottling was somewhere around 5000 gallons. So yes needed to take samples from around 100 of them…OH joy but had to be done. Again referencing the picture of the barrels see how this could be a
“Spider Resort”
While performing this and getting my head and body in between each barrel siphoning the vinegar I felt something. Did I scratch myself on something? Oh well went back doing what I was doing. It is messy job, my hands had a magenta (red) color to them. I did notice a little bump on the leftside of my forehead…. me thinking dirty hands a making of a good-sized ZIT…..SOB…. I get home to the family compound…and of course everybody started busting my chops about my big ass ZIT…. Ha Ha real funny..not of course I am self conscience of this. Ate drank wine and went to bed….. I do not know how long asleep but I woke up in extreme pain… My friend and ex brother in-law Rob was doing that lying thing “No your face is not that bad” I go in pain and look in the mirror
“Oh My God.. My whole left side of my face is swollen and now I am concerned…. Take me to the ER now. Of course everybody in the ER gave me the look… OMG what up with him because I looked exactly like
“Quasimodo”
This is where I am fuzzy about the details. I know they said it was some type of spider but what kind…sorry can’t remember…. I got whatever type of meds…I still did not sleep the swelling caused my sinuses to give me one of those headaches that wouldn’t quit… the next day after a fitful night of whatever sleep started to feel a little better the swelling started going down. No way was I going to go out in public…. didn’t want to scare old women and children. I was just so self conscience about this… I think after 3 days I felt comfortable enough to go out.. Really weird the poison localized into one hard lump on the spot where I was bit…. This all happened before Christmas… I bought airfare back to CT to be with family and friends…. Thinking I was looking fine by now got to my families house and the first thing out their mouths, forget Merry Christmas was
”Ken What the Hell Happened to You … You look Horrible”
Now here I am feeling self conscience again.. had to visit my friends but yes had to answer and explain each time… I think I ended my visiting and hung at my parents where at least they gave me some sympathy…. I could not wait to leave and get back to Lodi just so I didn’t have to answer any more questions. Yes all went back to normal….. No this is how I really look ….at least then could make an excuse…
I don’t know if I have become a magnet to the Birds and our Furry little friends but STOP IT. I don’t want you guys hanging with me and busting my chops.
All right you got a hint of my plight
Round 1
It was a very hot week and my “Guests” felt it was okay to move back into their winter digs…. My son went to grab a snack late one night and the Mice were having a ball doing the Electric Glide all over our cupboards.
Son – What the eff we need to get rid of these things…..Dad I freaked out
Me – What are you talking about
Son – A mouse was trying to do the Texas Two-step with my hand
Me – Okay I know they have been tenants for a long time… I guess I will have to put out some traps
Son – well Dad hurry up they give me the willies
Me – I went out and bought all my mouse catching gear…
So now we have a few cupboards bare and the food hanging on our kitchen table…. I didn’t tell my son that this is a big house and they probably found another nook to hang out until this blows over
Round 2.. I go outside and start watering my little herb flower-box garden I look down who do I see but my outside tenants scurrying
Thats right its Alvin and his damn Chipmunks getting high… SOB….Thank God I had to go down to my Parents and do my weekly Vacuuming of their inground pool. I get there and I start looking and I see something at the back of the pool swimming…Okay what the hell is it… I get closer and here we go
Round 3 it’s God Damn Pepe Le pew doing the Austrailan Crawl
Okay what Hell do I do???? Thank god I had a very long Pole… no the skimming pole with a basket net… I reached picked him up and am trying to get Pepe out but having a problem… No effen way am I going to any closer …finally I free him..it was kind of funny Pepe starts walking and it’s like he was drunk… couldn’t get his bearings… please don’t pass out here…. good he starts walking right and just takes off into the bushes and out of my site. Okay enough is enough… finished vacuuming the pool and back to my
“Wild Life Refuge”
What now…. I just noticed that my garage tenants were shopping… The Damn Raccoons got into my garbage and made a Dinner Buffet
Picked up the mess and what more can The Animal Kingdom surprise me with….. This is kind of actually sad I look behind my garage and into my backyard and see what looks like the remains of a white pigeon torn apart strewed all over the grass…. okay whatever other animal do I have that can do this calling my Yard his home
So, Yes Pet Detective Please find out who this Carnivour is and find him somewhere else to live…and if you have any sway please lead the others away also…
I know this is hopeless… I do not hate animals I just want them to behave….fat chance
The only noise I want to hear from animals is when
It seems when I write something it always triggers some memory of another related story. My latest entry
“I Think I almost took a Dirt Nap (Or I Should Have Stayed In Bed)” triggered this one
I was playing cards with the Reaper…He had a full house…..that Reaper had that smug arrogant look on
his face……Sorry loser pulled a Royal Flush out of my ass ( I cheated). Funny sometimes I write and I do not know where I am going…. WHAT the EFF… where was that Reaper crap going…. I guess it was my attempt to be witty…..No you can just make a face I know it sucked.
I was in my mid 20’s and a Restaurant Manger at the time. I worked at the busiest and most popular one in town. It was a cold snowy Saturday night and of course our busiest night. After doing a lot of my nightly duties, walk through, leaving notes and ordering produce for Sunday. It is about 12 or so and now to count and make the Nightly deposit. broke open a Heineken…. here is how corny I am… whenever I said or say that……. “Heine… Ken and touching my butt making that Smoking HOT Sizzling sound…” you know me thinking I’m hot. Ha ha what an ass I am…. but I am chuckling right now.
Alright all my friends from the restaurant have already are all gone to the local drinking establishment of choice “Nick and Neals”. I finish the deposit put it in the bag and will now do the night deposit. It is about 12:30 and it had snowed the whole week and it was freeze your ass off cold. Get into my 350 Cutless and take the 10 minute drive to our bank. I pull into the lot, park my running car (no it was doing laps) about 20 feet from the locked Night Deposit chute. I have my key ready to open as I walk to the night drop. It’s late and and windy I think I start hearing something, Naaa it’s the wind… I do not pay attention and keep walking. Just about to the night drop and I hear it it again but louder.
“Hold it right there..Drop the Bag”
This time I looked and saw this figure come over one of the plowed snow banks pointing something at me repeating the same line “Hold it right there..Drop the Bag” by this time I am at Night Deposit. I open the chute with my key… Turned and looked at him and just yell out as I put the bag in the chute
“DOUBT IT”
I think that really startled him…. I immediately ran to my running car and with more of a reflex action started driving toward him… I guess I wanted to run him over…. well he took off and started running to the snow piles and then into the surrounding wooded area. I think I did a 360 on the icy parking lot. Pulled out into the main road and then it hit me MY Heart was BEATING so loud and it felt like it was up in my throat. OMG how stupid an IDIOT am I and why did I do that.
What to do now…. well actually my bosses were at the bar…so headed there… got there and actually ordered 2 beers…. you know what kind….Ha Ha … I banged them down within 5 minutes at the bar the went to the table where everybody gave me the look and asked “What’s Wrong with you” I started Babbling what happenedwhile banging down another beer…. After sitting and talking and drinking I finally getting back to my normality……Should we call the cops and report this…. Somehow we didn’t… don’t know the specifics…after that we never did a deposit alone.
Seriously …..What the EFF kind of Asshole risks getting shot over somebody’s else money….. Me I guess
I have always been a person that when I do something I don’t think about what can happen to me. Those of you who do know me can attest to that. I have permanent scars from cooking, numerous stitches from cutting meat, a 6 inch scar on my shin from a fishing tournament. It was gashed open could not leave we had to win…which we did…just wrapped some towels around it and tied it with fishing line and when I go to cut down my jungle of a yard it is like I was attacked by a bunch of Bengal Tigers.
I just wanted to give you a little of my mental (yea real mental) makeup. Here is where my History background comes in (yes won the History award in my HS).
My MO has always been “Damn the Torpedos full speed ahead”
This is the one time my thinking almost killed me.
I got up this past Saturday…forget me trying to sleep in… bought and read the papers drank some coffee and then off to the gym by 8:30 back by 10:30. Yes all geeked up from my workout. My bathtub needed a real douching so got some Soft Scrub (chlorinated) and some Clorox. Now my bathroom is small so not really VENTILATED. Proceeded scouring with the Soft Scrub and poured the Clorox into the tub. It is working.
Before I go forward.. I had worked in Restaurants for most of my life. Managed, Ran a Food Commissary and numerous Kitchens so do know about not mixing Chlorine and Ammonia.
Not too big of an area…not well ventilated
I am feeling all proud of myself clean tub now lets clean the toilet.. I pour a bunch of Clorox into it……. No sooner than it hits the water I can not breathe
The bleach attacked my lungs I could not inhale my lungs starting hurting. I was making those hideous noises when the lungs will not allow you to inhale.
I immediately ran to my son’s room pounded on the door and with what ever voice I could muster yelled to him
“HELP…. Call 911
I definitely scared him.. he started giving me the Heimlich but I was so sweaty I slipped out of his arms. I kept telling him to call 911… at this time I am lying on my living room floor…. My breathing started to return….. yes I can inhale… I just laid on the floor for awhile…. I really shook my son up….after it seemed an eternity got up and chilled for awhile.
I never really paid attention to that warning
“Use these chemicals in well Ventillated Areas”
Don’t Worry I never again will Pooh pooh that warning again
I hope by my stupidity and this little tale will make all of you think when cleaning and using chemicals.
“MAKE SURE THE ROOM IS WELL VENTILATED”
The only time I want to hear the word Reaper is in the “Blue Oyster Cult” song
Hey Reaper see ya in I hope around 40 from now…so chill
Sometimes I read some of my old entries and think boy I am some type of whacked out person. Of course I don’t see myself that way but I guess when I read them I don’t have any comeback.
“Well here’s another one to add to my collection of misadventures”
I think I gave you a hint in my title what will happen.
This needs a little background. I was single probably 25 or 26 and part of
“Rolling Collection of Restaurant Friends”
One of them who happens to be of the female persuasion I had loosely dated at one time was friends with a girl (do I use woman?) who I happened to know sort of from my HS days. She was a cheerleader then and a year older than me. Now if my feeble brain can remember that far back I was an enigma. A rebel without a cause but I do not think there was a label to fit me. I hung with the crazies, jocks and nerds. I think thank god even back then I did not predispose a label (I guess I did just label…did not know how else to describe) or not hang with somebody that didn’t fit into somebody’s clique…. Getting back to the story…… I kind of floated through HS. My Junior year I transferred from a private to a public HS. I got lumped together with a bunch of seniors in a lot of my classes. You know that feeling when your insecurity kicks in …..especially when you see the Cliquey Senior girls look at you and whisper crap….. OMG they think I am an idiot or jerk or whatever….boy in those days that nervous sweat seemed to be dripping off of me. Fast forward to my story….. Well I found out they were actually talking about me as being hot….seriously were they on drugs….. but cool none the less. Let’s put a first name to her it is Betty. Betty was hot, married but separated…….. Yes she still found me hot or whatever
Sorry Had to throw in that Gratuitous video from
“Fat Bastard”
Okay Ken get to this damn story… alright….. Evidently Betty found out that I worked with my friend and starting chasing me…. I ran but I guess not too hard…… HMMMM… married let me think about this… Oh then I also found out that she is married to the brother of a person I worked with. Let me weigh this out in my little head, Me 25 male single and Betty HOT married but separated what should I do…. Yes my little head won out. I think originally it started as a group thing going out for drinks with everybody……we kind of you know made eyes and laughed at each others jokes… Jesus it was like being in HS again… I just didn’t want anybody to know for a lot of reasons…. fast forward…..yes we started seeing each other but I think without anybody knowing….. Where can we be and not have anybody around us know…. Was not going to get a room (maybe I should have). Well we can go to “Gulf Beach” that is where people go to do whatever. Don’t remember the arrangements but were now at the beach in the parking lot mauling each other in my 350 Cutless…oooh baby I loved that car. You know how it is when you’re hot for each other clothes and bodies are flying…..I think after steaming up the windows we had the good sense to put on our underwear……. Just about ready for round 2 (mid 20’s… could do that then) There is a knocking on my window and a flashlight shining in our faces…..Oh Oh Milford Police…. I don’t know if we had the look or not but thank god we had clothes on sort of…… He used that authoritative voice and told us to get dressed and get of there and if he saw us again he would arrest us.
Yes we got clothed and got out of Dodge as quickly as possible. I think after that I was finally thinking with my right head and just cooled it…. No I was nice but told her that she was still married and it wasn’t right…. eventually she started hanging with other people…. Have not seen her since…..
“So always remember never get caught with your Pants Down”
I threw in this song because it always sounded like they were saying “Milford Police”….plus I just like this
You know when you are sitting around drinking and besides solving the world problems crazy ideas fill your head.
This is one of them. I probably was in my mid 20’s at the time and renting a house on the shore with a collection of my friends renting close by. So YES it was a roving mass of parties from one house to another. I think at the time I was either a bartender or a Manager at the most popular restaurant in town. It was a cold winter night and for some reason it ended up being only a friend and me still drinking late into the evening….This is when after way too many drinks things always sound and seem to be funny and cool to do.
“Hey isn’t 2 of our friends (yea also work with) going at it right now. HMMMM… what can we do to be funny and shock them. Lets drive over wearing only a tie and shoes and barge in….. Come on after many beers it sounded great. Thank god it was only a 10 minute drive and there weren’t any cars on the road. My friends car seats were soooo Effen cold…. and since were feeling no pain never considered what would have happened if we got pulled over by the cops didn’t care because we were on a mission.
Pulled into the driveway. It was our friend the girl’s house who rented on the second floor with a outside stairs to get to her floor. Don’t worry she rented from a married couple that also happened to be friends. Now remember colder than shit and ice on the stairs …thank god we didn’t slip and again stupid embarrassment……never said I wasn’t weird…..Of course we are both laughing as we just knocked and proceeded to walk in on them..
YEA Success they were going at it….. Of course we were stupid…. I know one of us asked “So what’s new”….they had to stop and started laughing (I hope with us not at us) about our lets just say our “Shortcomings”…….Of course I really blamed everything on the cold…… Well we did actually have a conversation amid all this laughter….. thank god we were all good friends…and I guess the memory of me didn’t frighten my friend the girl because after a few years passed and after I moved to CA……I came back for a vac she asked me out for a date….. HMMMMM
NOW HOW CAN YOU TELL YOU ARE DRUNK
You promise the pizza delivery guy $40 to pick up a 12-pack on the way with your delivery.
You can focus much better with one eye closed.
You are drinking directly from the champagne fountain.
You fall off the floor.
Your key doesn’t fit your neighbor’s door – thankfully.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
You’re still dancing long after the band stopped playing.
You’ve stopped putting paper on the nasty toilet seat.
You make out with your friend’s mom.
Now, tell on yourself, add to the list in “comments” below!
You know you are drunk when __________.
This is my toughest decision which drinking song video to leave you with…It was a toss up between
”The Doors” and “George Thorogood”
You got both so open up a few beers and enjoy
So have a drink on me….Or show me the way to the next Whiskey Bar
I first want to hope everybody had a relaxing 4th.
When I think of the 4th I do get that Patriotic feeling but then I think of some of my 4th experiences.
I have 2 that will never leave me, one when I was about 11 and the other in my 20’s.
I am writing today about my first and oldest. How I made my own Bomb and how it backfired on me. You know boys are always looking to push the envelope and I was one. Of course anybody can have sparklers and firecrackers but was too young for anybody selling or giving me the good stuff, M80’s, Ashcans and Cherry Bombs. Well what is a industrious mischievous boy to do but make my own little bomb.
My neighborhood was made up of kids of all ages and my ears always perked up when the older guys talked about stuff. Making little pipe bombs from Firecracker gunpowder and match heads was all I needed to hear…. had the firecrackers and always had packs of matches..now just needed the perfect container….Hmmm nobody told me it had to be metal so found a round hard plastic seemed to fit my needs. Proceeded to tear apart a bunch of firecrackers and carefully poured the gunpowder and a bunch of match heads into my BOMB.
OH yea really excited…. now it is the 4th need to see and hear what I made. It is a crude devise….only 11 remember. I try to light it by throwing lighted matches into it….why won’t it light….by the way on my frontsteps during the day. Come on please light…. Alright I will take care of this… I took a match and put it into my BOMB by hand. OH it went off but it explodes right into my left eye area…. Holy shit I grab my face and eye…probably crying….do not know what to do … I am afraid to tell my parents…..How stupid is that….rather bear this pain than tell my parents and maybe get yelled at.
My eye is hurting as hell do not know what to do. I figured if I went swimming in the ocean the water would keep the eye lubricated and not hurt…Sort of worked… finally went home and after eating supper went to bed… I did not know what else to do….. I guess while sleeping the pain became unbearable. I woke up the house with my screaming and crying. Told my parents what happened.
Immediately they drove me to the Emergency Room. Here’s the fun part now looking back. Yes I burnt whatever part of my eye and they used a scalpel to I guess scrap some of it off . Weird Huh…. Had to wear a patch for a couple of weeks plus the daily ointment…. Funny thing my parents were more sympathetic than angry… Now how can parents be mad at a cute 11 year old wearing a patch. Don’t answer.
Now why couldn’t this have happened now…. I really could have played up the Pirate thing…. “Captain Jack Sparrow”
I do kind of look like him…Ha Ha Ha Ha
Next year I will write how I spent my 4th in a Boise Police Station
Need to leave you with a Patriotic Song…not a really big Bruce fan…go figure from the Northeast and not… is almost sacrilegious
There is a tie-in between both stories..well not the “Mr. Bill” stuff but the annual April trek to Dallas. This time I was the only one who could make it. I think my return flight to JFK was near the end of April. I was doing my normal month stay… Drinking too much and making the obligatory ass of myself.
I DO NOT think I met a Dallas girl who was not both Beautiful and NICE. I just melted how they pronounced my name. They would say it in a kinda Southern accent and pronouncing my name as Kiiiiinny… I’s instead of E.
Back to the story. It was the last week in April and the Northeast just got hit with a Bad-Ass Nor’easter which Shut down all the Airports.
Vowed I would never again live in SNOW. I said “Go West Young Man” I called a friend who lived in Sacramento about a job and he said sure…. I was once his boss… Then made a call to Lodi to friends whose family lived there and still had a summer home back in CT. Got in touch asked if they could pick me up at the Airport in Sacramento… Of course they did. They were 3 brothers all around my age. They brought me to their home about 30 miles due south of Sacramento. It was a big sprawling one floor, I guess California House. Their parents were and are really cool
Affectionately called “Curly and Cor” Buonocore. Yes very Italian… I think that is how and why I speak with my hands a lot. For some reason they really took to me…go figure and I was assimilated into “Curly’s Commune”…. Did not take the job up in Sacramento but worked for Curly. He owned a naturally aged Vinegar plant whose main brand was “Old California Wine Vinegar”…. I’m thinking who’s better than me.. A job, room and 2 hour meals where we never left the table sober…. a hands on job….. It was and still my favorite job. I learned how to Coop barrels, blend, filter, test and do the chemistry to insure correct acidity, bottled and delivered it. We had over 300 barrels stacked up on each other in rows… It’s funny when you are in amidst the vinegar you do not realize you have a distinct smell until you go to a Bar and everybody backs away from you. With that it’s time for all us to take a pit stop and grab a beer because this is going to be a long one. Those of you who aren’t grabbbing a cold one at least look at these 2 short funny beer ads while I take a break
Alright back… Yea they were funny weren’t they now back to my Saga. I didn’t look back so forgive me if I am repeating something I already told you. Hanging and working can only go so far and yes a male in his 20’s will go seeking for girls. I know I didn’t tell you but Curly has 2 daughters. The older was going through a divorce and actually pregnant and the younger barely legal and living in “Curly’s Commune”. I know I was not dreaming this but both sisters were actually chasing me…Yes I fought it as long as possible…. I guess then I might have been a catch or I was new and not like the local “Goatropers” (wantabe cowboys)whatever the case I actually was kind of interested in the older pregnant sister but somewhere along the way I starting having feelings for the younger one (it didn’t hurt that she lived a couple of bedrooms down from me)… So one thing led to another and we did a lot of sneaking around and yes also doing that…. I think or the best I could figure it out my son was conceived in a back seat of a Ford after a night out at the Ryde Hotel…. OMG when we found out that my soon to be wife was pregnant many scared thoughts went through our heads… me I knew that I loved her enough to marry her but I really felt I betrayed the trust of my boss and soon to be Parents inlaws. After having enough balls to confront them……we told them and of course they reacted how they should….
“Hurt, Betrayed and yes a lot of loud speaking… come on Hardcore Italians” eventually all kind of settled down and we did the right thing and went up to Reno to get married at the
“Chapel of Love”
For Fifty Dollars
Well since my new Bride was already far enough along to be showing we spent our big Honeymoon night in Reno with me watching, helping and consoling her as she hugged the “Porcelain Throne”
When we got back we were taken into the fold and were accepted…. I do not know if it was guilt, shame or the male ego got involved but I was going to take care of my family. I made a few phone calls and thank god enough people had faith in me that I was hired as retaurant mgr in
“Fort Lauderdale, FLA”.
Read the Adventures of the “Kaders” cross country at some later date.
If I knew that I would be writing about this now I wish I did this
Hired a Elvis Look Alike
Yes I am divorced now for many years but 50 dollars was a good investment got my son and 9 out of 10 years of a happy marriage
“Thank you, Thank you very much…. Elvis has left the Building”
“I know Sappy but couldn’t resist adding this after I initially Posted this”
Talk about a UNABROW
All right you got a hint of my plight 
take the special bus
ken1981